Well it's Christmas again and I’ve presents to buy:
A bottle of whisky, a costly silk tie -
Or a few cotton hankies or nice box of chocs?
Well, we kids eat the chocolates and Dad gets the box.
So with Dad sorted out - now what present for Gran?
As the drinks cause hot flushes, I’ll buy her a fan.
Some treatment for Gran at the beauty salon?
Well I would if I could but my money’s all gone.
Now my Granddad’s the problem. He’s really a bore.
When the presents are opened he usually snores.
Some good thermal undies could well do the trick –
Or a pair of warm gloves – or a new walking stick?
Oh now what to buy Mum! Well I have an idea
For her wrinkles are showing up perfectly clear.
Perhaps some good face cream or dye for her hair,
Or we all could just buy her some warm underwear.
Christmas Day has arrived and the presents have too.
I have kept Daddy’s chocolates but gave him some glue.
Mummy’s face cream? I thought I would give that a miss
And instead I just gave her a nice Christmas kiss.
Granddad’s thermals? Too dear, so he had chewing gum.
And my Gran had the cream I’d intended for Mum.
As for me, I’m quite pleased with my super football
For I’m certain that mine is the best gift of all.
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